Chapter 12
Yet
here she was -- that same face staring at him through a veil of filth, with a
set of green eyes so hurt and stained and dim they might as well have had no
color at all, nor a mind behind them to which to send their visual information.
And that body, once so perfect for ballet and prostitution, sagged beneath the
doubtful weight of grey of tattered rags.
"Suzanne,"
he muttered again, and again stepped towards her, his clutching fingers unable
to bring himself to touch her another time, already aware of the grit such a
touch left on his own flesh.
And she
-- now with full recognition of him in her eyes -- took one more staggering
step backwards and came to an abrupt halt at the window, the glass and metal
gates rattling with her frail impact.
Finally,
plucking up some measure of courage, Maxwell grabbed her wrist again. He could
have broken her bones with no more than a snap of his fingers -- she was so
thin. Like a bony bird who trailed unfriendly streets, driven by some inner
torment Maxwell did not understand. He could barely recognize her as the woman
he had romanced years earlier.
"What
happened to you?" he asked, the words escaping him with a long, expelled
breath, a sigh and a sign of shock.
She
glared, then glanced over at someone moving among the other bums. Then Maxwell
heard their rustling, like disturbed snakes coming to the defense of one of
their kind.
"BACK!"
he yelled at them, raising his free hand as if he would strike the first to
come near.
Their
advance stopped. Their faced registered doubt -- but in that vague way Maxwell
always imagined ant faces to look, as each was part of some collective thought process
which needed time to gather itself into a command for action. Then, apparently
sensing danger, they staggered back again.
Suzanne
looked panicked as they abandoned her and moan: "NO!" She clawed at
Maxwell's finger. He tightened his grip.
"I
don't want to hurt you," he whispered. "I just want to talk."
"Go
away!" she cried and clawed at his arm with her tattered nails.
Close
up, Maxwell could see that she had the same grey-brown tint as the other bums,
from layers and layers of filth never washed. He could have escalated there and
found a history of the long days and nights on the streeted, canned beans,
spoiled milk, bad coffee, combined with her own excrement. He felt himself
ready to retch, and yet stopped himself. It was as if was changing her shape
before his eyes, twisting into a variety of disguises, any one of which might
have fooled him if he was not staring straight at her, anyone of which would
steal her away if he let her go. And the whole time, he waited for the original
Suzanne to reappear, the green-eyed farm girl he had made love to so many
times.
Then,
when it became clear to her that Maxwell would not release her, Suzanne sagged.
"I
want to go home," she murmured.
"Where
do you live?" Maxwell said. "I'll take you there."
This
morning's jog down Broadway had taken him passed the line of 1930 style
buildings that served a number of the city's public shelters, some funded by
the feds, others by the state, while a few were even sponsored by local
churches. People jokingly called it "Dead Man's Row." In Winter, the
police routinely found bums frozen to death on the side walk, men and women
associated with the shelters, but for some reason had been unable to get back
inside before curfew.
"I
can take you home," he repeated when she had not responded for a moment.
She seemed to have fallen into a haze again, looking up only when she heard the
word "home." She jerked her head up and down once. "Home,"
she muttered.
Some of
the tension eased in Maxwell as he led her away from the store front, although
the other bums stared, parting from his path like shifting leaves -- many of
whom even made the vain attempt to call to her, grunting out her name as she
passed. But none came close or dared to touch her or Maxwell. None sought to
follow as Maxwell led her around the corner onto Broadway, headed in the
general direction of Dead Man's Row. Suzanne stumbled, stopped, started again,
only to stumble again, making Maxwell think she was drunk or off balance due to
some other alcohol or drug related ailment. Then, he realized there was
something wrong with her right leg and that his pace was much to quick for her
to keep up.
"Of
course, you dummy!" he thought. "She broke bones in that fall from
the stage!"
He
slowed to a less stiff pace. She stumbled less, though always seemed to fall
forward with each step, as graceless in her movements now as she had been
graceful as a dancer, a mockery of the art to which her own life had been
dedicated. She might have been a plow horse past her prime, her face and
features falling into that same disrepair as her broken bones. Only she wasn't
old and didn't need a pasture as much as a bath and a nice warm place to lay
her bones.
Around
them, people stared and struggled to muffle their mirth, and only when Maxwell
caught sight of himself in the windows of the store fronts did he fully
understand their laughter -- he with his designer jogging suit leading a ragged
greying woman who could easily have passed for his grandmother, step by step
passed the aging business community, Italian faces, Polish faces, Chzeck faces
and more, peeping out from behind yellow cellophane to watch this parade.
Maxwell's
face warmed, despite the cool air whipping at him and his sweat-soaked jogging
gear. This stretch of street would bring out hundreds more staring people if he
didn't find a way to hurry Suzanne. Although the original seven blocks had
since been sliced by the city in constructing its new police station, county
college and welfare clinic, the street still drew a lot of foot traffic, and
now, word went out, people ringing doorbells to the apartments above the
stores, urging the residents to take a look at this odd thing passing by.
Maxwell found himself meanly wishing the city had leveled the whole
neighborhood, not just the few blocks it did, erasing all signs of these people
and their old-Paterson culture, and their old-Paterson curio city, and their
old-Paterson sense of right and wrong. Years ago, these people had fought whole
religious wars on this spot, Jews fighting Christians, Catholics fighting protestants,
protestants fighting the old gypsy culture which had used Paterson graveyards
to bury their dead, and whom all faiths seemed to hate with equal vengeance.
Now,
everybody looked the same, the same aging faces covered by the same hats and
kerchiefs, wearing the same heavy coats or ankle-length wool dresses, walking
with the same painful, shuffled step of the near dead. And yet they laughed,
they who suffered most when the gangs rode up from River Street, they whose
store windows shattered or car tires sagged, they would scurried from door to
door with perpetual glances towards real or imagined muggers. They laughed.
"Suzanne?"
Maxwell said, aware of just how long this march might take and how many more
people would witness them as he and she moved along the dozen blocks to where
the first of the homeless shelters stood. "Why don't we take a cab?"
She
looked at him the way a pigeon would, turning her head to stare with one eye,
then again to stare at him with the other. Her expression might not have been
one of disbelief, yet it was difficult not to think that. What cab or bus would
take her aboard as small as she was? Nor had Maxwell brought enough money for
the normal fare, let along the double or triple amount needed to bribe the
driver into taking her for so few blocks.
"Home,"
Suzanne said with sudden vehemence, her stare growing suspicious.
"I
am taking you home," Maxwell said. "But it's so far away and walking
like this could take us the rest of the day to get there."
She
shook her head. "Not far," she said and jabbed her bony forefinger
forward.
Maxwell
glanced in that direction. A few blocks of store fronts remained before the
newer brick and stucco buildings marked the city's take over. If another,
nearer shelter existed, he didn't know about it. Perhaps the college had
started one, isolating some small part of its tiny campus as a community
service? Or maybe even the brick-faced public clinic that had always seemed to
cold and bureaucratic in the past? Least likely among these, of course, was the
newest building complex, that stucco and glass structure the newspapers had
dubbed "King Graves' Palace," housing the mayor's office, the police
station and several bays for ambulances. No one would install any social facility
in such a grand place as that.
"All
right," Maxwell conceded. "You lead on. I'll follow. But if it gets
too late, we'll have to call a cab."
And
hope the driver would trust Maxwell long enough to drive Suzanne to the shelter
and Maxwell back to the store, where he could "borrow" the fare from
the petty cash box in back.
Once
more the woman staggered ahead, and for the first time, Maxwell saw a rhythm to
her movement, as formal and precise as the steps in any dance. Suzanne's right
leg seemed to be the injured member and she lifted it, thrust it forwards,
allowing her body to fall with it as the foot fell flat on the pavement in
front of her. Her left leg, apparently quicker and more able to bend, caught up
in time to keep the whole operation going.
Suzanne moved ahead with all the precision of a robot.
So
natural and easy did this new sense of walking seem that Maxwell was surprised
when she stopped. He presumed she had tired herself out, because she hadn't
stopped near anything that looked remotely like a shelter. The college stood to
her right, harried students and teachers bumping into her. The police and
municipal complex stood like a mausoleum to the left and across the street,
police cruisers easing in and out of the driveway.
"Well?
Maxwell asked, easing as close to Suzanne as he could stand. She seemed to have
fallen asleep standing there, her eyes closed, her body swaying.
"Suzanne?"
Her
eyes popped open, clear, but blank, though which a tinge of panic leaping into
them from their edge. She turned towards him, stared as if she once more failed
to recognize him, this phase passing and the horror of her earlier recognition
replacing it instantly. Her mouth opened forming a soundless "NO!"
"You
were going to show me where you lived," Maxwell said, deliberately
pronouncing each word carefully, as if talking to a child.
She
blinked, and then, the horror vanished, too, fading back into the vague
expression of acknowledgement, her head rising and falling with a slow nod.
"Home," she said, then turned, then stepped off the curb into the
street.
"LOOK
OUT!" Maxwell screamed and grabbed
her back by the shoulder, just as a green and white Veteran's Cab raced over
the space where she had stood. "Are you crazy? Are you trying to get
yourself killed?"
Maxwell's
voice sounded shrill as it echoed off the buildings of this man-made canyon.
People stared and shook their heads, no longer amused by the disparity between
their appearances. He looked now like some dirty old man seeking to seduce one
of the female bums, too cheap to spend ten bucks on a River Street whore.
He grit
his teeth, glaring the onlookers away, then bent close to Suzanne, his breath
partially held against her stink, her face as blank and innocent as a child's,
as if time had come and erased all the reasons for care and concern, rather
than adding to it. Only deep in the eyes did the spark of pain show, one sole
sign of the still intelligent human trapped in the frame of despair.
"You
were going to show me where you live," Maxwell said again.
The
spark in the eyes changed; something of a smile rose onto her lips.
"Home," she said, making the word sound so warm and comfortable that
Maxwell pictured an armed chair, fire place and old hound laying on a rug near
her feet.
Then,
she started across the street again and again Maxwell stopped her.
"Suzanne!"
Maxwell complained. "There's nothing over there but the police
station."
"Home!"
she insisted with a jab of her hand, which did indicate the glass and stucco
building, but did nothing to clear up the mystery for Maxwell as to where in
that building anyone might install a shelter. Mayor Graves was not the kind of
man to open his office up for the homeless.
"Where?"
Maxwell asked,. Searching through the frost covered benches and dead potted
trees for some small sign of life, but all there was was the glass, stone and
steel, symbolic of the modern Paterson, Graves hoped would emerge in the
future, all angles and edges. Even the pigeons avoided this place, preferring
the loftier areas of old city hall where they could view the activity of the
still-living part of Paterson from ledges of stone, making their comments on
last trends with a variety of voices and numerous plops of shit.
"Home!"
Suzanne insisted, clearly frustrated by his inability to understand.
"All
right," he said softly. "Show me."
This
time, however, he helped her across Broadway, holding up traffic with a raised
hand as she made her way from one curb to the other, in her odd robotic style
of walk. On the far sidewalk, she paused to rest and Maxwell cringed under the
hard stare of the police station, two frowning garage doors showed on the right
side of a Picasso style face, while a small porch and set of stairs to the left
made up the rest of the face. Old memories flooded into his head with flashing
lights and wailing sirens, though it was to the old police station that the
cops had brought him years earlier, when they had arrested him, not to this new
pristine place.
Still,
the frowning doorways stilled to stare into Maxwell's soul, eking out
confessions for crimes he had not committed, eking out secret desires he only
rarely even admitted to himself. He could only recall the rages he'd felt
towards the police and authority, when over those last few hours in county jail
they had done nothing, guards clearly aware by that time as to what was going
on, guards laying side bets as to whether or not he would succumb to exhaustion
or hold out, his fight to keep his eyes open nearly as vicious as the fight to
keep the other inmates from murdering him, wave after wave of them coming at
him the way a storm-stirred ocean came after a sea wall, their fingers
searching for cracks in his defense, sensing his weakening condition, pressing
to take advantage.
"Home,"
Suzanne said.
"You
live in the police station?" Maxwell said, incredulously, as he stared up
at the windows of the offices above the front porch, each window nearly as
blank as Suzanne's eyes.
Suzanne,
clearly as frustrated with his lack of understanding as he was for her to
explain, shook her head vigorously, then took another stumbling step towards
the building -- not towards the squat garage doors, but up towards the ornamental
facade of the municipal building's porch, her shuffling step echoed in its vast
arches, she dwarfed by the huge pillars.
Then,
the same cold feeling Maxwell had gotten among the marble mausoleums of the
grave yard with Puck came over him now, as if he was disturbing something from
the dead, his sneakers squeaking on the marble steps as he climbed to keep up
with the now stumbling, headlong charge of Suzanne.
Tinted
windows reflected the two of them, he looking as out of place among this modern
tribute to Greek architecture as she did. The tinted glass enclosed the space
on two sides, east and south, with the open-spaced pillars marking the
boundaries on the west and north. Few inside the building seemed to use the
front door, or look out these windows from the lobby. But the porch -- which
was about as big as a tractor trailer -- was clearly used by someone, and not
just by the mayor for one of his now famous public diatribes against the city
council.
Like
the police, the mayor and the other city employees came and went via the rear,
where they could park their cars and walk to and from the building behind the
safety of fence and barbed wire. The mayor hadn't even installed a camera here,
as he had in the place behind the building -- wisely aware of how little time
it would take the local gangs to remove it and hock it and use the money to buy
booze or dope. Few of the occupants of the building likely noted any of the
changes that went on here.
And
changes had occurred.
As with
any unused store front door way, this space had collected the drifting leaves
of Paterson's homeless, serving the dilapidated and the dying as a shelter. If
not heated, then a thousand times more luxurious than the bed to bed facilities
offered by the more formal public shelters further east on Broadway, yet oddly
enough, modelled after those institutions as if the bums -- when left to their
own resources -- had no better example from which to choose, newspapers and
tattered blankets spread out on the floor of this place in the same side by
side fashion as the beds in the shelters with people's paltry possessions
arranged at the foot and head of each, valueless trash that resembled grave
stone markers.
And the
people -- of whom there were dozens-- leaned, sagged, stooped, squatted, sat,
sprawled, lay flat, curled up, rolled this way or that, groaned, moaned, though
most stayed silent. They looked and smelled as significant as rotting leaves
with a blast of the usual scent of unbathed bums. Maxwell could taste its vulgarity,
so thick was it in the air, and his could feel its creeping touch working up
his arms from his unprotected hands, an itch he feared to scratch with the
prospect of somehow making it worse.
"Home,"
he heard Suzanne sigh with a satisfaction so deep it might have been her
father's Midwest house with a hot meal cooking on the stove. Maxwell tried to
say something but emitted only an acknowledging grunt. Then, he heard the
echoes of another rasping voice, more laugh than grunt.
"Hey,
hey," a bent figure said, emerging out of the deeper shadows to appear as
Nathanial, his back as twisted at the pillars were straight, and the shadows
painting his half-melted face into a even more grotesque shape. "Does
Susie have a new boyfriend, hey, hey?"
Nathanial
advance, one arm crimped close to his chest, the other -- longer -- swinging at
his side, his good eye glinting at Maxwell in a careful study of his face.
Maxwell
shifted around in place, keeping the strange man in front of him as he circled,
Maxwell's hands tightening into fists at his sides, then loosening again the
way Uncle Charlie and years at the dojo had taught, he waiting for the gnarled
man to make the first move. The figure, however, did not advance, did not even
look as if he wanted nothing more than to laugh.
"Suzie's
brought a fine boy home this time, yes, yes," the little man said,
obviously not recalling Maxwell from their previous meetings. "A generous
man, yes, yes, one so helpful and friendly, yes, a friend who will pay us, yes,
the way the police men's do, yes?"
Maxwell
frowned, trying to sort out the man's verbal riddles in his head, and then,
when finally making sense of them, stared horrified.
"You
have me wrong," Maxwell said, taking a step towards the man, and stumbling
over someone's clattering possessions and paper bed. "I didn't come here
for that!"
"No
pay?" Nathanial said, turning his head, bird-like to keep his one good eye
aimed at Maxwell's face, an eye which grew suspicious. "No pay, no play.
No, no. We don't give no credit to you like we do the police men, who come for
rent, no. We can't gives no samples. Not with Suzie. Not when so many other
boyfriends wants her, boyfriends with money, yes, who pay and pay."
Maxwell
stared at the man, then at Suzanne who stood to one side half in the shadow of
a pillar, her hands folded in front of her. She appeared neither embarrassed or
ashamed by the man's filthy talk, but looked the part of some shy, Midwest girl
at a dance, waiting for Maxwell or some cop to make her an offer.
"Well?"
the little man said, edging closer, his tilted head cocked like a question
mark. "You want to pay, yes? You want to be little Suzie's boyfriend for
an hour, yes? She does it good, yes. She loves to do it, yes. Ask all her other
pretty boyfriends, as them if Suzie isn't work for them to pay and pay,
yes?"
"SHUT
UP!" Maxwell yelled, the echoes of his own voice resounding in the
chamber, drawing up nervous gazes even from the previously nearly unconscious,
as if they thought him a cop. Even Nathanial's half melted mouth snapped shut
over his endless string of words, his one good eye blinking at Maxwell, staring
hard as if he expected to get hit. The whole space seemed to shift, grey and
brown figures suddenly stirred to life, leaves urged by the wind to flee,
though all apparently waiting word from the little man before Maxwell.
Nathanial,
startled at first, then shook his head and laughed.
"You
don't like us to say that?" he asked. "You don't like hearing other
men pay? Maybe you is green with being jealous, eh? Maybe you wants her for
yourself, yes? We arranges that if you want. But it costs, oh yes, costs lots
of money, yes, yes, more than you has, maybe. Policemen wants her, too. And we
stays here because of her..."
"Look,
friend," Maxwell said sharply, jabbing his forefinger at the little man's
face. "I told you to quit that talk and I mean it."
Nathanial's
mouth soured, the unmelted side drawing up into what could have been a sneer.
"Does
you wants us hurt, yes?" he asked, "wants to beat us up, yes, yes,
like a big bully, he is, yes."
The
small man swiped at a strand of hair that fell across his face, one of two long
strands that did serve in covering his balding head.
"We's
so afraid, we's shaking," Nathanial went on in the same mocking voice,
laughing so that others in the chamber began to laugh, too, but it sounded like
a laughing dead, scaring Maxwell a little. "So afraids we's mights yell
for the police. And they come and take the big bully boyfriend away, yes."
Maxwell
glanced around, first at the double doors that opened out from the building. He
could well imagine a troop of black-booted blue-hatted Paterson cops charging
out with swinging clubs the way Chicago cops had at the National Convention in
1968, beating at his head and these pathetic already dead's head, sweeping the
steps with their beating, washing away the filth with blood -- the bums' blood.
Maxwell's. Suzanne's, too.
Then,
when the door did not swing open as promised, Maxwell glanced the other way, to
the two still-frowning double garage doors, waiting for them to release their
thunder and lightning, and they, too, remained unmoved, though Maxwell felt
more danger there than from behind the glass door, an uncomfortable feeling
he'd had since Puck's robbery that gave the town authority to do what it wished
with him once he stepped across a certain line.
Was he
now standing on the wrong side by challenging this crew of living dead?
"I
don't believe this!" Maxwell muttered, staring at Suzanne. "Even you
couldn't have sunk this low, living on a door step, doing things this little
dwarf tells you to do."
Suzanne's gaze remained fixed on a imaginary
space, looking neither ashamed nor embarrassed, having gone beyond both in her
long fall from the heights of New York.
"But
Suzie does, yes, yes," Nathanal ranted on. "She lives with us, dirty
stinking bums, she stays here and stays safe, yes, yes, safe as long as she
goes off with the nice policemen when we tells her to go. She stays safe, we's
stays safe, not like those nasty smelly shelters full of rules and religion,
telling us when to gets up, when to go to sleep, sneaking up on poor little
Suzie in the middle of the night, taking what they wants without paying saying
thanks. She stays here and helps us and keeps everything safe, yes, yes."
"Safe?"
Maxwell said, staring round at the place as horrified by the scattered junk and
dilapidated people as if the acropolis had been converted to a public toilet.
The smell -- which had been unbearable in the relatively open space of the
street -- festered here, and grew, its foul fingers working into the
microscopic cracks of the stone itself, immortalizing this place. No cleansing
would ever fully remove it, short of chipping awry the stone layer by layer.
"You
mean nobody bothers you here?"
"Bothers
us, oh yes, they bothers us. Bad men come to beat us up. But they afraid now.
They don't come here no more since policemen chase them away. Oh, they wait for
us on the streets. They take us and hit us and steals our money, yes. But here,
the policemen says they can't, so they don't come here, and we are safe, yes,
yes."
"You're
telling me the police let you stay here? On the Goddamn steps of the municipal
building?"
"Yes,
they knows," Nathanial said. "But the Mayor doesn't, no, no."
The
little man held up a knobby finger to his partially deformed lips.
"It's
our big secret, yes, the policemen says. They lets us stay by we can't say
nothing to the mayor, no, no. We can't say anything to nobody, no..."
"But
that's insane," Maxwell said. "Why on earth would they bother?"
"We
tells you," Nathaniel snapped, growing agitated and impatient at Maxwell's
questions. "We pays, yes, yes, we pays, and they leaves us alone,
yes."
The
little man's knowing glance at Suzanne raised a pang of pain in Maxwell so
acute that he grabbed his stomach, and glanced around, searching for a way of
escape, the stink and the circumstance leaving him with little dignity.
These
were bums! They had made the choice to live here like this. Maxwell's attention
would change nothing.
And
yet, when Maxwell glanced at Suzanne, a different, more acute pain started in
him, a pain whose cure was far less practical than simple flight. This pain he
would bring away with him, and if he did nothing now, he would live with,
reviewing this scene again and again in his head for the rest of his life,
seeing Suzanne as a bum, the pride and possession of a half-melted dwarf,
paying the price of existence by bedding down with a station full of cops. Even
in rags, even with her face and hands and arms caked in dirt, she looked
innocent to Maxwell, the way she had that first day at the poetry festival, and
in those eyes, he saw the same desperate search in her, someone trapped, but
still looking for a path to importance.
Nathaniel
rattled on, but Maxwell heard little of what was said. But the pain was now so
great in Maxwell that he wanted to lash out and cause a more violent pain in
this pathetic pimp, closing his twisted mouth forever, if just to keep it from
offering Suzanne again.
"SHUT
UP!" Maxwell screamed, again sending his shrill voice up into the arch of
stone for it to return in brittle echoes. This time, the men and women hidden
in the shadow, rocked back on their heals, staring at Maxwell, as if he had
called them to life out of the very stone. Nathaniel only glared, as his
sputtering diatribe came to an end.
Maxwell
motioned to Suzanne.
"Gather
up your things," he said. "I'm taking you out of here."
In the
quiet, Nathaniel's shoes squeaked as he leaned back on his worn heals, the last
of his words lost in a single gush of expelled breath, the good side of his
face now as distorted as the bad.
Suzzane
stirred, her arms -- which had risen to her chest during the little man's
recitation -- fell away like abandoned clothing.
"Home,"
she said, planting her feet on the stained concrete.
"Not
any more," Maxwell said. "We'll find a better place where you don't
have to..."
"NO!"
Nathaniel roared. "You can't take her away from us, no, no, you can't. We
needs her. She needs us."
"I
told you to shut up," Maxwell said savagely. "You're not going to use
Suzzane any more to pay your rent -- such as it is. She's coming with me, and
if you or any one tries to stop me, you'll get hurt."
"But
the nasty policeman will want her, the nasty policeman will tells us to go away
if she's not here."
"Well,
I'm so sorry," Maxwell said in the same cold voice. "Maybe you should
try getting yourself a job instead of pimping innocent girls like her."
"INNOCENT?"
Nathaniel howled, his laugh no longer even remotely humorous, but manic, as he
began the slow shuffle of his feet, like an unmilked cow trapped in a pen,
needing to kick at something to relieve himself of the pain, but afraid of Maxwell.
"She's not innocent, no, no, not innocent at all, no. You tell the man,
little Suzzie, you tell the man about all the nasty little things you've done,
all for money, yes, yes, all for money and nothing else."
"I'm
not going to tell you to shut up again," Maxwell warned, taking a step
towards Nathaniel, who like a brown leaf blown by a sudden gust of wind,
staggered back the same distance as Maxwell's advance.
Suzanne
remained as fixed as a statue with only her head turning towards Maxwell and
Nathaniel, apparently unable to make up her mind as to which one she should
obey, caught between the little man's glare and Maxwell's pleading.
"Forget
your stuff," Maxwell finally said and grabbed her hand, yanking her across
the tattered newspapers and ragged bundles which had seemingly become her
world.
She
resisted, yanking back and shaking her head.
"Mine!"
she said, breaking free of his grasp long enough to bend down to retrieve a
cracked brown leather bag, something normally carried by the new breed of male
business executive with both a handle and a strap, the way their female counter
parts carried a purse. Only now one strap was missing and the brass clasp
broken so that Suzanne had to clutch the bag to her chest to keep the contents
from tumbling out. "Mine!" she said again.
"No!
You can't take her!" Nathaniel screamed as he lunged across two sets of
newsprint blanket, stumbling over one that was still occupied by a grumbling
and groping and probably still drunk body. The little man fell, one unmauled
hand unable to keep his face from striking the pavement.
"No,
no," he groaned from the ground, then graveled, squirming in his effort to
regain his feet, but unable to manipulate his one good arm into a position to
lift himself. Rage or panic also made him quiver, and helped defeat his
efforts. He glared up at Maxwell like a fish which had managed to escape a
fisherman's bucket only to flop mercilessly in the dust.
After a
moment, the little man ceased flopping, and glared at Maxwell instead, a
dribble of blood oozing out the corner of the good side of his mouth.
"She
can't go," he moaned. "She's all we got."
"Too
bad," Maxwell said coldly, staring down at Nathaniel, as angry at him as
he had ever been with anyone -- even his family, wishing he could crush the
little man's head under his heal, doing away with it the way he might a bug for
all the little man had done to Suzzane.
How
dare he pimp her to the police in order to get free rent, and who knew what
else!
"Come
on, Susy," Maxwell said, and slowly led the puzzled woman back down the
stairs to the street.
The
scuffling had attracted attention, people on the street looking up towards the
stairs to see what the excitement was about, much the way idiotic drivers on
the highway did when passing an accident, needing to see someone else's misery
in order to feel less bad about themselves.
Nathaniel
soon satisfied their lust with a wail of pain that rose from the enclosure with
all the pathetic Malay of a parent whose child had been ripped from his arms --
with the echoes making the wail worse, drawing even more attention from the
shopkeepers a half block away and the students exiting the college across the
street. Even the line of patients outside the free clinic glanced over,
forgetting their pain long enough to wonder at his.
"This
way," Maxwell said, leading the robotic Suzanne to the right towards
downtown, passed the line of shocked shop keepers and blue collar workers
waiting for their bus, passed the old ladies hobbling towards morning mass.
In
their faces, Maxwell saw the sheer audacity of his deed, raising questions as
to what he should do next.
"Maybe
I can go see if our Oak Street apartment is still available," he thought
bitterly, "or see if my family will take us both in. Considering what Jack
will do when he finds out what I've done, I might have to move out of my own
apartment."
Jack
would take one look, shake his head, then slam out the door himself, looking
drink or a gun, or perhaps even shove Maxwell and Suzanne out, and for the
first time, consciously and deliberately lock every lock to make sure the two
did not reenter.
"But
you don't understand," Maxwell imagined himself shouting through the thick
door. "She needs me."
"Fuck
you," would be Jack's reply.
"Are
you hungry?" Maxwell asked Suzanne, the thought popping into his head out
of nowhere, not so much a realization as desperation. He needed time to think,
and he had seen no sign of food in the open quarters in front of the municipal
building, and only vaguely did he recall the grubby fingers of the bums
struggling to tear open the black plastic bags Jack had put outside the store,
fingers that -- when finally finding something edible -- immediately rushed the
crumbs of bread and meat to an open mouth, sanitary or not.
"Hungry?"
Suzzane asked, as if she had just recalled the proper word for such a primary
condition of her life.
Hunger
plagued people like her day and night, was never absent, a gnawing mouth
working inside their bellies. Sometimes they managed to reduce its complain
with handfuls of trash, but it was always there, always tugging at them for
more, making them rise in the morning, resisting their attempts to sleep at
night.
Yet
more than this, the word seemed to have more meaning than many of the those
Maxwell had used in addressing her, meaning more than home, sleep, cold or
warmth, as if translating directly into a condition she could acknowledge.
She
nodded and grinned, her formerly beautiful smile marked with years of tartar,
some of which had turned slightly green.
"Hungry,"
she said with such enthusiasm that for one moment, Maxwell thought he could a
gleam of the old Suzzane in her eyes.
"Well,"
he said with a heavy sigh. "At least, that's something we can fix."
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