Chapter 22
"Wake
up," Jack said, shaking Maxwell's army, Maxwell blinking as he looked up
and found himself day-dreaming at the Greasy Spoon's counter, his cup of coffee
already cold. "I know you didn't get enough sleep, but can't you hear the
telephone?"
On the
wall across the room full of tables and chairs, the public telephone jangled,
an instant sharp voice echoing its complaint, as if Maxwell knew from its
ringing that someone important waited on the other end.
"Are
you going to answer it?" Jacked asked. "Or do I have to come around
this counter because you're too lazy to..."
Maxwell
rose, stumbling over the legs of the misplaced chairs, staring at the telephone
rather than the path, shoving this chair and several more aside before he
reached the receiver and silenced its ringing with the jerk.
"Hello?"
he said, half expecting to hear the gruff, pragmatic voice of Mr. Harrison,
howling over some discrepancy in the supply order. Instead, he got Patty.
"So
you are there," she said. "Doesn't your friend give you messages?
I've been calling all morning and waiting here ever so patiently..."
"You
called before?" Maxwell asked, his voice still heavy with sleep.
"Aren't
you listening to me? I said I called."
Maxwell
glanced over his shoulder at Jack, who busied himself with scrubbing one small
corner of the counter, too busy to look up, though his shoulders seemed to take
on a hitch.
"No,"
Maxwell said. "I didn't get the messages. Is there something wrong?"
"Wrong?
Don't tell me you've forgotten?"
"I
guess I have. What is it?"
"You
said we'd get together for a drink."
A chill
spread through Maxwell, rippling across his chest. He gripped the receiver
harder with his one hand and the black phone box with the other.
"You
want to see me again?" he asked.
"You're
still not listening," Patty scolded. "That is what I said."
"When?"
"Does
six thirty sound good?"
************
Charlie
sputtered slightly as Maxwell pulled the car to the curb, the whole metal frame
shivering as if from cold or fright. The street had already closed down for the
night, metal awnings drawn across store windows, gates drawn across store
doorways. Even though the lights showed in the windows above these stores --
old Italian families settling into arm chairs before glowing televisions --
silence dominated all, with the scramble of an alley cat and the bark of a yard
dog, the only sharp reports against its dull curtain.
Maxwell
stepped out onto the street, circled the car, checked its doors, then paused,
gaze drawn up to the lighted window above, Patty's window glowing like a single
staring eye from the highest floor. Jack had protested vehemently against
Maxwell's coming, saying he should stay as far away from Patty as possible.
"The
Boss always gets what he wants, Max," Jack argued, "and you've
already pissed him off more than anyone I've ever seen. You keep pushing
things, he'll have you killed."
"She's
another thing we can talk about when you set up our meeting," Maxwell
said.
Then,
caught by a wedge of descending street light, a wrinkled hand emerged from
Patty's downstairs doorway, an empty hand, stamped grey from dirt, its palm
turned upward. A moment later, an equally dirty and wrinkled face appeared,
grim with grim eyes and a mouth perpetually puckered from lack of teeth.
"Spare
change?" the man asked.
Maxwell
stared, and shuddered, his own shaking hands riffling through his pockets for
change before he could stop them, producing a quarter, two dimes and four
pennies -- which he thrust into the out stretched hand. Flashes of memory from
the graveyard so many years earlier flickered before his eyes like an hallucination:
the old man crumbling with his head shattered, Maxwell vomiting on the ground,
vomit and blood mingling over the graves.
Again,
he shuddered, then bushed passed the man, plunging ahead into the dark hall,
his sneakers kicking up news print circulars as if dry leaves, until he thudded
up onto the bottom step. Maxwell had to feel his way up the first flight, then
he followed the beam that fell from two floors above. The echo of his shuffling footsteps moved
ahead of him as he climbed, soles scraping the dust of the unswept floors. Up
top, music filtered down, loud yet not deafening, more siren than assault:
James Taylor, Jonie Mitchell, carlie Simon, Judy Collins, each reminding Maxwell
of other places he should have been like Colorado or West Jersey, Portland,
Oregon, or Nashville, Tennessee.
Finally,
he reached Patty's floor, where the volume made it difficult for him to hear
his own rasping breath, or the sound of his rap on the door. He knew no one
inside could hear, and yet, the door snapped open revealing Patty, still
dressed in t-shirt and socks.
"You're
late," she said, coldly.
"Is
something wrong?" Maxwell asked.
"What
makes you say that?"
"I
expected..."
"Expected
what?"
"Well,
a warmer reception, I suppose."
"Reception?
Do I look like a hostess? Does this look like the Ramada Inn? I'm just home
from work. I'm not in the mood to be friendly. If that bothers you, leave, or
find yourself a Goddamn drink until I unwind."
"Are
you like this everyday?"
"Absolutely.
I hate my job."
"Why
don't you get a new job?"
"Why
don't you mind your own business!" Patty snapped, then went to the other
room to get dressed.
Maxwell
sighed, stepped across the kitchen to the wide window sill, then sat, staring
out over the city below, at the a dark land and crawling shadows of people he
had not noticed when parking his car. From here, the land had the shape and texture
of road kill, with the people crawling over its dying carcass like maggots,
each collecting subsistence from its demise.
"Okay,
let's go," Patty said, dressed in her New York Giant's jacket. She
switched off the stereo and headed out the door, leaving Maxwell to follow.
The
black Trans Am sat at the curb with its engine running, looking and sounding
like a panting beast, its windows so shaded Maxwell could not even see the head
of the driver.
"Now
that's someone I'd like to have a talk with," Maxwell said and made a move
from patty's door towards the car, only to have Patty grab his arm.
"No,"
she said, her voice nearly shrill.
"Why
not?"
"Because
we'll be late," she said, trying not to look at Maxwell or the car, but
fore some means of escape along the long, empty sidewalk.
"This
will only take a minute," Maxwell said.
"Please!"
Patty pleaded. "Not now. It's bad enough he's here without pushing things.
I like you. I want to be with you a while before he pushes you away."
"What
makes you think he'll do that?"
"He
always does. He wants me and he hates anybody else getting in his way."
"All
the more the reason he and I should talk."
"Later,
not now," she said. "Let it go on as it is for now."
"As
it is? It isn't anything yet," Maxwell said. "We're here on our
second -- date. That's all."
"It
could be something. But not if you let him ruin it."
"All
right," Maxwell said, glancing sharply at the grumbling Trans Am, and at
the driver side door that made no move to open. "My car is up the
street."
***********
"So
where the hell are we going anyway?" Maxwell asked as he pulled his car
onto the street, again, watching the Trans Am's headlights wink on in his
rearview mirror.
"I'll
tell you when you get there. Just drive where I tell you to drive."
"I
hope we won't be making any last minute turns."
"Just
drive."
So
Maxwell drove east, the shards of Paterson's formerly wealthy east side popping
up around them like grave stones. Maxwell had wandered among them years
earlier, when these great mansions still shone, though lately, they'd suffered
most with Paterson's decline -- the aging Jewish families dying off or moving
out. Over time, these mansion turned into housing for the less than wealthy
white families who parked El Doradoes and Chevy pickup trucks in their drive
ways, and littered the lawns with empty beer bottles from their Friday night
drinking bashes.
All the
awe Maxwell felt her as a kid had vanished. He no longer found his eyes growing
wide as he passed through -- though he still caught glimpses of crimson glass
on the upper stories and admired the shapes of the widows walks as they showed
against the sky. But only in silhouette did that old magic remain from when the
Colts, Vanwinkles and Vreelands lived here.
Maxwell
chuckled.
"What's
so funny?" Patty asked.
"When
I was young, I always wanted to live in one of these houses. I figured that
would really be a sign of success."
"So?"
"So
if I moved into one of them now, I would actually be taking a step down on my
ladder of success."
"They're
not that bad," Patty said. "My mother lives in one of them."
"Oh,"
Kenny said. "Is that where we're going now?"
"For
a minute," Patty said. "I just need to run in and out."
She
directed Maxwell through the maze of streets that surrounded East Side Park,
dead ends and cul-de-scacs that had once guaranteed the wealth their privacy
but now seemed like private ghettos full of dilapidated abandoned furniture,
rusting 1970s cars and over grown lawns slowly yellowing into seed. The
building at which Patty directed him to stop, however, was not one of the
mansions, but a brick and mortar apartment complex the Jews later built, grand-arched
buildings of six or seven floors who interior windows peer out onto narrow
gardens once filled with flowers now stuffed with weeds, and gravel paths whose
gravel had scattered and metal benches long seduced into rust. While these
buildings did not have the opulence of the mansions, they also had a dignity
and grandeur of their own, constructed when Paterson had already started its
decline, as fortresses against the oncoming changes.
"Park
the car," Patty said, when Maxwell pulled up to the car curb.
"I
thought you said you’re only running in and out?" he said.
"Don't
hold me to every Goddamn thing I say. Just park the car. We might be longer
than a minute and I wouldn't want you to get peeved waiting for me."
"You
mean I'm coming in?"
"That's
the idea. You have a problem with meeting my mother?"
Maxwell
glanced into the driver side mirror, noting the dual set of square headlights
just then winking off, one light slightly titled, like a weak-muscled eye.
"Well?"
Patty asked, a little more sharply.
"I've
got no problem with meeting your mother or anyone else," he said.
"Then
park the car, Longfellow. I don't want to be here all night."
**********
Mother
greeted Maxwell with a grimace, one of those "No, not another
boyfriend," kind of looks Maxwell had seen before -- pained, yet patient,
studying him quickly, superficially before letting out a resigned sigh.
Maxwell
also studied the woman, sensing something sharply wrong about her the moment
she opened the door. She seemed to breathe trouble, the smell of it mingling
with the scent to nicotine and alcohol. First of all, she dressed the way
Maxwell might have expected Patty to dress, wearing spandex pants and a button
down shirt and silver rings on every finger. These clinked when she picked up a
glass and shimmered with reflected lights when she waved her hands. She had
phony red finger nails longer than the perpetual ash of her cigarette, nails
with shards of diamond imbedded in each, which she said again and again came
from an admirer.
"My
friends call me Em," she said, holding out her handful of rings and nails
for Maxwell to take.
The
flesh was cold and clammy, and Maxwell let go of the hand as quickly as
possible, struck by another oddity: the woman's face. This was trapped in a
fame of bottle-blonde hair, silver earrings as large as saucers and a matching
necklace below. But it was the mean look in her eyes that bothered Maxwell
most, as if these had been shaped from the same metal as her earrings.
"My
daughter has told me a lot about you," Em said.
"Mother,
PLEASE," Patty growled, tugging at Maxwell's sleeve to draw him deeper
into the house, her voice and her mother's echoing down the long marbled hall
along which they had just come, echoing along with the numerous other seemingly
inappropriate sounds, sounds of babies crying, of women crying, of men and
women shouting, laughing cursing, of radios and TVs. Such sounds seemed to
violate the sanctity of the place, lacking the kind of dignity and grace for
which the place had been built, too much the stuff of the poor house -- like
the kind that had occupied Chamberlain Avenue during the 1930s and 1940s, or
the homeless shelters of Broadway in the 1980s, sounds of the Alexander
Hamilton or Christopher Columbus projects.
"What
exactly did Patty have to say about me?" Maxwell asked after Patty had maneuvered
him inside and closed the door from the rest of the world.
"You
know," Em said, giving Maxwell a nod and a wink. "That little package
of yours was a sly move, a better way to get in her pants than I'd seen most
men do -- and I thought I'd seen everything."
"I
don't understand," Maxwell said, glancing at Patty.
"Don't
you?" Em said. "You mean you're not like the rest of the men my
daughter sees? Better than the rest, eh? Purer at heart and all that? Come off
it, Buddy. It's Em you're talking to here, not some stupid bimbo from the
bar."
"Mother,
stop," Patty said. "How many times do I have to tell you, he's not
like that."
"I
heard what you said, Patty," Em said. "I just don't believe it. But I
sure would like to him say it, how he doesn't get a hard-on for you every time
he sees you dance."
"I
said stop it," Patty shouted. "Why do you have to tear down every man
I bring here?"
"Because
you've never brought a real man in here, girl," Em said. "You keep
bringing these pathetic worms, trying to pass them off as men. Not one of them
measures up to your father, and not one has anything in mind for you, but a
quick fuck and then to dump you out onto the street. They all think you're a
whore, because they all found you in a bar. Why can't you find a nice young man
at the other place you work. Why can't you bring someone home whose wearing a
suit and tie, rather than this rag tag lot of hippies and bums? Any day now I
expect you to come walking through this door holding the hand of a nigger,
telling me you're going to have his child."
"I'll
walk out if you don't stop," Patty warned, then turned towards Maxwell.
"I need a drink. How about you?"
"I
don't think I do," Maxwell said, studying the marble motifs that marked
the banister to the stair, and the wainscotting that divided the walls in half.
For that moment, he seemed to have stepped back in time, and half expected the
place to have gas lamps instead of electric. Indeed, the original brass ornaments
jutted out from the walls.
"Don't
tell me you're going out with someone who doesn't drink?" Em said.
"Of
course, he drinks mother. I met him in a bar, remember?"
Patty
lifted a bottle from a table and poured herself a hefty helping.
"Am
I allowed to ask what this man's plans are for you tonight?" Em asked.
"Or are you going to tell me to shut up about that, too."
"We're
going to see a movie," Patty said.
"A
movie?" Em said.
"Yes,"
Patty said, emptying her glass nearly as quickly as she had filled it.
"And if we don't go, we'll be late for the first show."
************
Maxwell
weaved Charlie through the light traffic as Patty gave directions. Darkness
hung over the back street his headlights could not dent. Behind him, the double
set of square headlights floated. It was a shadow staying behind Charlie as
Maxwell drove, following him onto the two land highway before it crossed the
river into Elmwood Park.
Even
before Maxwell reached the far side of the concrete bridge, he saw the police
cars tucked into the trees on either side, the officers peering out into the
passing cars to pick out the color of their drivers. Maxwell slowed as he
neared them, forcing the double set of headlights behind him to slow down as
well.
"What
the hell are you grinning at?" Patty asked, stirred out of her own
reverie.
"Nothing,"
Maxwell said, but watched the red and blue police lights flash on, bathing the
black Trans Am with sudden color. "I'm confused about something."
"So?"
she asked.
"Why
do you bring men over to see your mother if you know she's going to treat them
badly?"
"To
hurt her," Patty said.
"What?"
"I
want her to see what she's driven me to."
"Thanks
a lot," Maxwell mumbled.
"It
has nothing to do with you, Longfellow," Patty said. "She simply
hates me picking men up at the bar, so I rub her nose in it."
"You
dislike your mother that much?"
"Sometimes
I hate her."
"Why?"
"Because
she hates me -- she's hated me since I was a little girl."
"I
can't believe that."
"I
don't care what you believe, but it's true. I was an unexpected intrusion into
her otherwise perfect life, the child that came way too late to save her
marriage, a child she got stuck with after that fact became clear. Then, of
course, we had those dozen or so temporary reunions -- for the child's sake --
that created more hate and caused more scenes, and managed to give them both
more ammunition to shoot at each other in the future."
"You
said you had a sister. Is she hated that much, too?"
"A
much older sister, who -- by the time I was born -- was already fending for
herself, leaving the house when the ugliness started, eventually settling with
my father after the divorce. Mother wanted me to go with father, too, but he
wouldn't hear of it. He said a girl as young as I was needed a mother. So
mother started to see me as a millstone around her neck. More than once she
stared across the breakfast table at me and said she'd wish I'd died."
"Wasn't
that nice of her," Maxwell said.
"Wait,
it gets better," Patty said. "She routinely told me I was alive only
because abortions weren't legal and she couldn't afford the price of a certain
doctor on Lakeview Avenue."
"She
could have put you up for adoption."
"And
have to admit everything was her fault, that she was a terrible mother, and
that my sister's going with father was the right thing to do? No, she had
something to prove with me. But it wasn't easy. I fought back. I ate only what
I wanted to eat, went to sleep only when I felt tired. I refused to dress up
like a fairy princess for her, forcing her to beat the shit out of me."
"You're
father didn't stop it?"
"I
didn't tell him. I was too ashamed. After all, I was young, and stupid, and
deep down I thought I deserved the punishment."
"Didn't
anybody else notice?"
"No,
mother was clever. She always hit me where the marks wouldn't show, hiding
those few black and blue marks with a scarf or my hair. Sometimes, in summer, I
had to wear high collars and long sleeves, just so no one would see how bad I
was."
"When
did all this stop."
Patty
laughed. "On my 15th birthday," she said. "We were having a
party and my mother told me to cut the cake. I told her it was too pretty to
cut. So she came around the table and yanked me up by the hair. She nearly bit
through her lower lip beating me. She was so angry, she forgot herself, forgot
all the other people."
"And?"
"At
first, everybody was too shocked to stop it, then finally, father yanked her
off, telling her to let go of my hair or he would kill her. Mother's fingers
slowly eased away, and then father warned her never to do it again."
"Did
it stop?"
"No
way, not just then anyway. No sooner had the last guest gone than she was at me
again, beating at my face with both hands, kicking my ankles and my legs. She
managed to kick me down the front stairs when I ran out into the hall to call
for father. Then, she came down the stairs after me and beat me for not getting
up off the floor, kicking me again as I crawled toward the front door, kicking
me harder when we got outside because she said I was making a scene and the
neighbors would complain. Then, it occurred to her I might really be hurt. So
she dragged me to her car, dumped me in the front seat and drove me to the
hospital."
"What
did she tell the doctors?"
"That
I had been hit by a car."
"And
they believed her?"
"It
was convenient."
"Was
that the end of it?"
"Oh
yes," Patty said. "I was in the hospital for two weeks and the whole
time, Em thought I would die -- even though the doctors told her I wouldn't,
despite my broken neck. It was enough to put the fear of God in her. After
that, she's left me alone until I was too big for her to beat. By then, she had
developed other, perhaps more cruel ways to torture me."
"Like
what?"
"Like
nothing," Patty said. "Don't you ever get tired of asking questions,
Longfellow?"
"That's
how I learn things."
"You
might learn more than what's good for you," Patty said. "You'd better
step on it or we'll miss our movie."
**************
The
black Trans Am sat at the curb when Maxwell and Patty came out of the theater
two hours later. Its tinted windows glittered with the reflection of the marque
lights, looking a little like the multiple reflections in a fly's eyes. Patty,
still bitching about how much she disliked the movie, didn't notice the car,
allowing Maxwell to steer her towards the parking lot.
"Whimp
stuff," Patty complained.
"I
sort of liked it," Maxwell said, glancing over his shoulder at the Trans
Am.
"You
would. You're a poet. But anyone else knows love does not conquer all."
"But
it does," Maxwell said.
"PLEASE!"
Patty moaned. "Let's get away from here. Romantic claptrap like that
always gives me a headache. I wish I hadn't left my aspirin at home."
"Are
you really in that much pain?"
"I'm
holding my head because I have nothing better to do."
"Does
this happen often?"
"Often
enough."
"Have
you seen a doctor?"
"Here
we go with twenty questions again. Don't you ever get tired of pestering
people?"
"I'm
concerned, that's all."
"Don't
be. It doesn't pay. Just drive me home, or better yet, stop off at the 24 hour
Rite Aid. Aspirin will help me more than your questions will."
**********
The
road back seemed shorter -- each traffic light turning green as they coasted
through Elmwood Park towards Paterson. The highway was largely empty in the
hour before bars closed as people waited on last call before jockeying home.
Maxwell glimpsed several clocks along the highway, each advertising a different
time: one said 12:20 a.m., another said 11:40 p.m. To Maxwell, it felt as if he
had traveled back in time, and in the back of his head he imagined that if he
continued West long enough he could begin the evening again, and further on,
the week, and far enough, maybe come to a time before Charlie went to war.
The
thought of Charlie startled him. He had thought so little about the man over
the previous few days when for years after Charlie's death, Maxwell had thought
of little else. Charlie seemed to grow inside Maxwell's head, whispering
warnings about his current activities the way he had whispered about hanging
out with Puck when Maxwell was a kid.
"He's
evil, Maxwell," Charlie said after bailing Maxwell out of jail. "And
if you continue to hand around with him, you'll be evil, too."
"I
don't mean to see him," Maxwell argued. "I just wind up in the same
place at the same time. Sometimes I feel as if I'm meant to run him to him
again and again."
"Fight
it," Charlie said. "If I didn't have to ship out soon, I'd take you
away for a while -- go west or something where you could recover from his evil
influence. But I'm lucky I got off post this time, and you're lucky, too."
Then,
Charlie went away, and Maxwell did what he could, putting up with the rest of
his family to stay home and behave. Ed checked on Maxwell daily, catching
Maxwell each time he cut school, dragging him home each time he caught Maxwell
on the street. Ed's theory's for raising kids properly was to put them to work,
and he put Maxwell to work at the store. And Maxwell endured each indignity,
telling himself Charlie would make things better when he got back.
Then a
uniformed man appeared at the front door.
At
first, Maxwell thought it was Charlie and ran to open the door, wondering in
the back of his head why Charlie would need to ring the bell to his own home.
It was
not Charlie, and the moment the door opened, Maxwell knew something had gone
wrong.
"Can
I talk to your father, boy?" the sergeant said, his crisp uniform the kind
Maxwell had seen in parades.
"I
don't have a father," Maxwell said.
"Then
someone older I can talk to," the sergeant said.
Maxwell
called Ed from the back door, and the lumbering figure paused in his work to
curse and complain, eventually bumbling his way back to the house and up the
stairs of the rear porch to ask what Maxwell wanted.
"There's
a soldier in the front hall who says he wants to talk to you," Maxwell
said.
Ed's
face took on a puzzled expression, as he made his way into the house, through
the kitchen, extending his large hand towards the sergeant -- streaks of grease
still showing on his fingers despite wiping them with a rag.
"I
bring sad news," the sergeant said. "You brother Charles has been
reported Killed in Action."
No
short sentence ever spun through Maxwell's brain so viciously, like a bullet ricocheting
around inside his skull, short circuiting every thought. The details got lost
in the confusion, though Maxwell later sorted them out: a fire base overrun,
Charlie rushing out in a firefight to drag back the body of a wounded comrade.
Medals would be awarded. Charlie would be buried with the highest honors.
Maxwell
went crazy, telling Ed and the others where they could stick their job, house
and school, and then, he went looking for Puck, searching each and every street
of Paterson for signs of his former friend -- a friend that had held up a
liquor store, shot its clerk and used Maxwell to drive the getaway car.
Patty
said nothing, though the package of aspirin rattled on the dash board as
Maxwell drove, the easing intensity of her expression telling Maxwell the drug
had worked to relieve some of her headache. Behind them the whole time --
coasting like a shark waiting for blood -- the black Trans Am matched Maxwell's
speed, only its double set of highlights testifying to its persistence --
pulling to the curb miles later when Maxwell pulled to the curb in front of
Patty's apartment building.
"Well,"
Maxwell said, as Patty pushed open her door. "It has been
interesting..."
"You
mean, you're not coming up?"
"Are
you sure you want me?" he asked.
Patty
didn't answer, she just got out of the car and headed towards the building.
***********
"Hold
me," Patty said, reenacting the scene from two nights earlier, wearing the
same, weary innocent face and the same skimpy clothing. "Just until I fall
asleep."
Maxwell
felt a shudder pass between them as he did, uncertain as to which one initiated
it, feeling her consciousness slip away over the next few moments -- the
combination of alcohol and the night sweeping her back into that regions of
dreams, out of which her cries again emerged.
"NO!"
she screamed. "Don't hit me!"
Maxwell
clung; she shoved him away, then clutched him back, her sharp red nails biting
into his back as if they made love -- with him still fully dressed.
Finally,
real sleep back over both of them, and later, Maxwell woke to find Patty coiled
in a corner of the bed, whimpering. He rose, found his shoes, and carried them
out, waiting until he was in the hall to put them on.
Outside,
he found the dark street empty of black Trans Am. Only the protruding legs of
the sleeping street bums shows, each shivering against the cold in store front
doorways.
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